[Music] [Applause] [Music] say no to the oreo okay that's really funny for me to say because oreos are in fact my favorite cookie but do say no to the cookie sandwich feedback what do i mean by this you say something positive to someone you're giving feedback to then you squeeze in the negative or thing that you need to tell them that's not so much fun to say and then you throw another compliment or something positive at them this isn't genuine it hides what you're actually trying to tell them a lot of times they don't catch on to it because it's sandwiched and hidden between the two positives um because it's not genuine and it's really only appealing to your discomfort and having an honest conversation so what do you do instead of the cookie sandwich feedback you come out and have an honest conversation you share with them what you're seeing and how it's making you feel and reflect that to them you ask them their perspective and learn from them how they're saying it you ask good questions you get curious and you dive deep to figure out the real root cause of the behavior and then you talk about next steps together on how to modify that behavior or do something better or more positive that you both mutually agree upon so say no to the cookie sandwich and focus on having a really honest and positive conversation that can actually make a change or a difference and enjoy an oreo if you like [Music] [Applause] [Music] you